The sniffle crime

Waterproof Ugg boots, wool socks, double-up mittens and the biggest coat you can find - all essentials for a Chicago winter. The snow has graced us with it's presence - and like like an old tattoo of your astrological sign that you got when you were 18 and will regret for the rest of your life - I think this winter is here to stay... until March anyway.

There have been flurries. There have been flakes. But, nothing has stuck around until last night. I woke up to find a white Lake Shore Drive and a fuzzy view of the lake as the snow continued to dust the sky. I decided to brave the wintry conditions and venture out to run a few errands. I put on my long underwear, jeans, 2 shirts, a sweater, scarf, wool socks, rain boots, hat, jacket, a pair of gloves and walked to the bus stop prepared to wait. The snow was falling sideways and I swear I saw some coming from the ground up... making sure to hit whatever bare piece of skin I had left exposed. I watched people scraping their windshields with devices that I did not know existed... an extendable window shovels with rubber grips ready to rid your car of the dreaded ice.

I made it downtown on the bus (very slowly) and made a few stops, splashing in puddles and crunching in the compacted snow. Everyone was bundled up and then it occurred to me that Jen wore heels to work today. Heels. In the snow. She emailed me about this catastrophic error and told me that she almost fell with every step. She'll be taking a cab home this evening.

Upon my errand completion, I was back to the bus. Jen left me a bag of clothes that she needed delivered to a nearby tailor shop... The bus dropped me 3 blocks away and I decided to hoof it in the snow to the shop - except that I was on the wrong street and completely missed the shop and found myself in front of our apartment. Hmmm. Freezing, irritated, trying to be a good friend and confused about why I am walking around in the snow, I backtracked 5 blocks and found the shop. The Asian man behind the counter helped me with the things and I tried to show him what needed to be done... however, snot was pouring out of my pink nose and as I was trying to sniffle it back in, he walked away from me. At first I thought he was going to be polite and grab me a tissue. Instead, he went back to his lint roller and continued what he was doing. "Excuse me..." I said, rosy-cheeked and still sniffling. "When you ready, you let me know" he barked back. At what point did standing at the counter with the clothes in front of me get confusing for him? "I AM ready" I informed him. "Ohhh... you just stand there sniffle and I not know what you need." Really. Really? I was shocked. He made fun of me for having a runny nose? I should have just walked out, but couldn't fathom the idea of looking for another tailor shop in the weather. Maybe he would have preferred the "let-the-snot-run-down-my-lip-into-my-mouth" look. Always cute...

I showed him the ripped seams and missing buttons, took my slip, and left. I don't know if it felt warmer out because I was boiling mad, or if there had been a temperature increase to a whopping 28 degrees, but the sideways snow had stopped. It was quiet and beautiful. I looked around and saw the huge brownstone mansions with chandeliers and grand pianos occupying their bay windows. Every wrought-iron fence lined with garland and red bows... the snow was the final touch to this winter wonderland.

I walked the 4 blocks home and took deep breaths of the cold air - which did make me cough. I hear that by February we are going to curse at the snow every day, so I might as well enjoy it for the first week or so. Or, until I fall down in it - which I'm sure will happen in no time.

All I have to do now is remember my pack of tissues! And gloves... and scarf... and boots... and...